By A ChubbyEmu Parody Disclaimer: Not entirely factually accurate, seek your own doctor for medical advice Written by Jason Lin; Edited by Zoe Wei J.C. is a 21-year-old man presenting to the emergency room unconscious. His roommate, Lachlan, tells the admitting nurse that he found J.C. collapsed on his bedroom floor,
Offshore
By Jerrica Kuan; Edited by Zoe Wei “Second-year international offshore students are returning soon.” The time is too early in the morning (or too late at night). You are an offshore medical student, waking up for class in a time zone that stays the same, for a country whose time
Emoji Overuse: The newest epidemic plaguing medical students
By Geraldine Yang; Edited by Allyson Tai The NSW Health Department has issued a Public Service Announcement alert regarding the rapid spread of the neurodegenerative disease, Emoji Overuse Syndrome. There are currently 725 confirmed cases nation-wide. Initially discovered amongst UNSW Medicine students on Facebook, the disease has since spread to
Snake Oil Salesmen: From Omega-3 to Quack Remedies
By Mansimran Loyal; Edited by Katerina Theocharous The phrase ‘snake oil salesmen’ conjures images of sleazy businessmen, peddling worthless, overpriced products to unsuspecting customers. Today, it is commonly used to describe self-proclaimed health and lifestyle experts pushing “cure-all” elixirs and quick fixes, found everywhere from Instagram and shopping centres to
The Fire that Consumes Us
By Jerrica Kuan; Edited by Katerina Theocharous The thing about burning out, is that you have to be on fire first. You’ve probably heard about burnout plenty of times from MedFac – maybe you even did your Foundies assignment on it. Something something ‘50% of UNSW medical students experience mental
The Apple Tree
By Hannah Yuan; Edited by Allyson Tai They say the human body is made up of millions of individual cells that communicate with each other by firing neurons and synapses, sparks and live-wire. When we age, they degenerate. The ends wither away and those once electric connections become muted and
6 Things You SHOULD Do in Lockdown
By Jason Lin; Edited by Zoe Wei I must be honest, the title of this article is quite the misnomer. There will be no uplifting barrage of tips and tricks for you to stay healthy, nothing motivational, nothing inspirational and there will be nothing remotely close to advice. In fact,
BREAKING NEWS: Med student completes bucket list & finds cure for cancer instead of catching up on lectures
By Geraldine Yang; Edited by Yaron Gu Local first-year medical student, Nate Shen, has made headlines by doing literally everything in his will to avoid catching up on uni work – inadvertently finding the cure for cancer in the process. Nate, who lives by the motto “If you wait until
Five Types of Students You’ll Encounter In Online Uni – Which One Are You?
By Jay Patel; Edited by Zoe Wei 1) The one with conveniently terrible internet This person is never seen with their camera on during tutorials or scenario groups. Turning their microphone on takes ages, and when they do, they either sound like a distressed kitten or Darth Vader. Although they
Lockdown II
By Saleha Sehgol; Edited by Yaron Gu Tabula rasaOr back to square one?That mask,Second skin.Seasoned hecklers,Second season.Peak hour drones,A haunting threnody of cicadas and mynas.To every crevice this hollowness reaches –Not quite, for it fails to appease the beaches. Crimson fury dribbles and spitsHow are the bearings still not
