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by Geoffery Feng | ed. Chenglin Wu
However much you may want to try using KFC to treat your gluten intolerance—or any allergy, for that matter—this article is quite obviously meant to be humorous, so don’t take it as medical advice.
The idea that a food allergy could be cured simply by eating the food that causes it seems counterintuitive. After all, allergic reactions are the immune system’s overreactions to harmless substances, and consuming the allergen can provoke serious, even life-threatening reactions. Yet, medical research has begun to explore this paradox through a controlled approach known as oral immunotherapy (OIT). This therapy deliberately exposes allergic individuals to minute, gradually increasing doses of the food they cannot tolerate, with the aim of retraining the immune system to respond less violently over time. However, my approach to outgrowing my gluten allergy was a bit more of a “finger-lickin’” experiment.
When I was younger, I used to envy the kids who could eat anything they wanted – birthday cake, pizza, even a simple sandwich. The moment that really stuck with me, though, happened in kindergarten. One of my mates had left a half-eaten biscuit on the table during recess and, in true five-year-old logic, I decided it looked too good to waste. Back in class I could feel my throat begin to tighten, my chest began to feel heavy and it gradually became harder to breathe. Next thing I knew, I was lying on my teacher’s lap in front of the class getting an EpiPen jabbed into my thigh.
Fast forward several years, my immunologist had suggested eating small quantities of gluten each day to gradually build up a tolerance and try a challenge involving eating an entire piece of bread in the hospital. However, this method did not seem to yield much progress in the amount of gluten I could intake without allergy symptoms. It didn’t bother me too much as I had always just accepted that avoiding gluten wasn’t the end of the world.
As I grew older, often I would continually find myself wanting to try new foods. The curiosity would gradually infect me, leaving me wondering if I could handle just a few bites. When my parents would bring takeout home, which at times included KFC, I would begin taking bites of the fried chicken. Whilst sometimes there was no following allergic reaction, other times I could feel my chest beginning constrict. After some time, I noticed that I could eat a few bites of fried food without any symptoms at all.
My self experimentation really ramped up this year during KFC’s Christmas in July which usually offered almost unbelievably good deals. The scarily cheap wicked wings were too tempting and I found myself pushing to try more each time. Almost surprisingly, there was no adverse reaction, which only made me bolder. Until one day, I worked up the courage to try my first KFC burger. I would take a bite and wait 15 minutes for any signs of reaction, which there was none. I would take another bite. Then another, and another – repeating this process on the train trip home from uni. By the time I had reached home, the burger had disappeared, and seemingly, my allergy alongside it. From then on, after a few more “experiments” with KFC, I turned to consuming full meals containing high amounts of gluten, and they ended up completely fine. It was a surreal feeling, like my body had impulsively decided one day to forget about the allergy which once controlled everything I ate. What KFC had promoted as Christmas in July, a mere marketing gimmick, had really delivered me with a genuinely life changing present (Love you, KFC).
So to everyone out there with a gluten allergy, maybe a 50% off zinger burger with its magical 11 herbs and spices from KFC is all you need.
Disclaimer
The information presented in this article is for entertainment purposes ONLY and is NOT to be taken as appropriate medical advice. It is recommended you seek assistance from a health care professional if you have any concerns about your health.
Do not use this information to diagnose, treat, cure, prevent any disease or as therapeutic advice.
You should not disregard professional medical advice or delay seeking it because of something you have read in this article. We do not accept liability for any injury, loss or damage incurred by use of or reliance on the information provided in this article.
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