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SportsBet Now Taking Bets For Next NSW Hospital To Be Deregistered
“Does it count as match-fixing if I bully my juniors until the department is stripped of its title?” asked a senior doctor.
humour
Senior Staff Start Bullying Medical Students Since No Junior Doctors Left
When various heads of departments were questioned, The Jugular received remarkably similar responses along the lines of, “back in my day… tougher skins… disappointments… bullying??? Never heard of it.”
Student Still Not Really Sure What Causes Clubbing
“Look, no-one really knows but it sounds pretty slick when we say ‘Schamroth’s window is present’.”
MedFac To Test Final Year Students’ ‘Words Per Minute’ To Assess Suitability For Internship
“Yeah look, once on my gastro term the consultant asked me to do the notes and instead of ‘patient due discharge’, I mistyped ‘patient die discharge’. Safe to say boss wasn’t happy.”
Med Student Falls in Love With Every Young Intern at Their Hospital
One has to wonder where all these eligible interns come from, since there seems to be little evidence of med students of their calibre. Perhaps it is a stable income and clinical competency that is the crucial missing factor.
Med Student Excited to Update their CV After Getting Elected to MedSoc
“I’m just really excited to make a difference for students and do things that matter and-…Sorry gimme one second, just quickly posting this on my profile.”
Special Snowflake Med Applicant Claims He Doesn’t Even Know How Much Doctors Earn
“I just want to help people,” Clippon informed us before we even had a chance to ask him his name.
Local Hospital Deems Medical Students ‘Worse Than Hospital-Acquired Infections’
In a form of passive protest, staff toilets have now also been restricted with swipe-card-only access, forcing cardless medical students to go to the bathroom in squalor amongst the rest of the community.
Article Submission Rates to The Jugular Mysteriously Plummet a Week Before Exams
In news of yet another industry that millennials may be killing, student-run media sites find themselves scraping the bottom of the ideas bowl a week out from uni exams.
MedSoc Bookshop to Include RM William’s Signature Craftsmen Boots in “Phase 1 Essentials Package”
Whispers of including a Grey’s Anatomy boxset have been a source of added excitement amongst certain circles.