{"id":667,"date":"2018-08-30T16:01:56","date_gmt":"2018-08-30T06:01:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thejugular.org\/?p=667"},"modified":"2018-08-30T16:01:56","modified_gmt":"2018-08-30T06:01:56","slug":"article-submission-rates-to-the-jugular-mysteriously-plummet-a-week-before-exams","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jugular.org.au\/index.php\/2018\/08\/30\/article-submission-rates-to-the-jugular-mysteriously-plummet-a-week-before-exams\/","title":{"rendered":"Article Submission Rates to The Jugular Mysteriously Plummet a Week Before Exams"},"content":{"rendered":"
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In news of yet another industry that millennials may be killing, student-run media sites find themselves scraping the bottom of the ideas bowl a week out from uni exams. In an open display of desperation, yesterday <\/span>The Jugular<\/span><\/i> was forced to post a call-out for articles as student submissions reach nigh non-existent levels in the fortnight leading up to UNSW Medicine\u2019s exam week.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUsually we get one or two a week,\u201d reported one of the Editors-In-Chief, dark circles under her eyes betraying the extent of her current plight. \u201cUsually from a few kids who think they\u2019ve got a funny bone, trying to live up to J.K. Lolling. But lately our inbox is just empty. At this point, I\u2019d consider publishing anything, even another goddamn embryology joke.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

In the telling Tuesday night post, a member from <\/span>The Jugular <\/span><\/i>team attempted to lasso in submissions by pandering with tired Shakespeare quips and transparent claims such as \u201c<\/span>our editors are happy to give feedback\u201d and \u201cwe love all our readers and writers immensely!\u201d One of the <\/span>Co-Editors-In-Chief wished to clarify this statement.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe do love most of our readers. Just not the ones who like all of our posts but refuse to like our frickin facebook page. Looking at you John. I know you saw my invite to like it. We went to high school together, man. Come on.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

All in all, it seems that tempting opportunities for productive procrastination and offering a much needed creative outlet to science-saturated nerds is just not enough to revive a slow news week. The team is wondering if perhaps they should branch into podcasts and record an episode to help with antibiotics memorisation. Amidst this extra-curricular crisis, one of the Editors-In-Chief unfortunately failed to remember that she too has exams next week. Best wishes to all in her shoes. 1 like = 1 prayer.<\/span><\/p>\n

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