{"id":422,"date":"2018-05-15T00:04:00","date_gmt":"2018-05-14T14:04:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thejugular.org\/?p=422"},"modified":"2018-05-15T00:04:00","modified_gmt":"2018-05-14T14:04:00","slug":"hd-wam-student-assures-1st-years-that-ps-get-degrees","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jugular.org.au\/index.php\/2018\/05\/15\/hd-wam-student-assures-1st-years-that-ps-get-degrees\/","title":{"rendered":"HD WAM Student Assures 1st Years that \u201cP\u2019s get degrees”"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\n \t<\/i> Read Time:<\/span>1 Minute, 35 Second <\/div>\n\n <\/div>

Last Thursday, Honours student Jack Waters was seen hanging out in the beer garden of the roundhouse for the 2nd time in his entire university degree. Sources tell\u00a0The Jugular <\/em>that\u00a0Jack is renowned for his 94% WAM, placing him 2nd in his cohort. Typically, he spends his Thursday evenings reading the latest editions to the New England Medical Journal while many of his peers enjoy The Whitehouse\u2019s happy hour deals.<\/p>\n

Our team caught him chatting to some 1st years who were decompressing after having finally completed their extremely arduous Foundies course. The group claimed to have been debating whether the G-Protein Coupled Receptor had 6 or 7 trans-membrane proteins when Jack approached them with unsolicited advice.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t sweat it guys, P\u2019s get the degrees,\u201d he preached while awkwardly holding a beer in his left hand. \u201cYou want to hit as close to 50% as you can. Don\u2019t even bother using textbooks. Just read Bonita\u2019s notes once and then do some past papers. Plus, there are always supplementary exams. It’ basically impossible to fail and Honours are mostly useless anyways.”<\/p>\n

When pressed for more information about supplementary exams, he appeared flustered and clueless.<\/p>\n

Jack left the first-years with his favourite joke, \u201cWhat do you call a medical student who gets 51% in his final exam?\u2026 A doctor.\u201d<\/p>\n

“It’s getting late, I might head back,” he said at 5pm. He left his half-finished light beer on the table.<\/p>\n

Although tentatively hopeful, the first-years admitted Jack’s reassuring advice would probably soon be forgotten. Indeed, when our team followed up with them early in their BGDA course, the group was found collectively poring over full-price embryology textbooks, fretfully trying to memorise key features in the second trimester of foetal development. One student said, “If I ever see another wiki page, I might genuinely have a nervous breakdown and die.”<\/p>\n

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\u201cYou want to hit as close to 50% as you can. Don\u2019t even bother using textbooks.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":423,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[19],"class_list":["post-422","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humour","tag-featured"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jugular.org.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/422","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jugular.org.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jugular.org.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jugular.org.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jugular.org.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=422"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jugular.org.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/422\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jugular.org.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/423"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jugular.org.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=422"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jugular.org.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=422"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jugular.org.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=422"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}