{"id":2801,"date":"2020-03-29T17:58:54","date_gmt":"2020-03-29T07:58:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thejugular.org\/?p=2801"},"modified":"2026-02-06T00:17:00","modified_gmt":"2026-02-06T00:17:00","slug":"by-myself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jugular.org.au\/index.php\/2020\/03\/29\/by-myself\/","title":{"rendered":"By Myself"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class='booster-block booster-read-block'>\n                <div class=\"twp-read-time\">\n                \t<i class=\"booster-icon twp-clock\"><\/i> <span>Read Time:<\/span>1 Minute, 31 Second                <\/div>\n\n            <\/div>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>By Brian Feng<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Enjoy listening to this while you read<\/em>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-audio aligncenter\"><audio controls src=\"http:\/\/jugular.org.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/y2mate.com-Crush-\ud06c\ub7ec\uc26c-Digital-Lover_GDIoG_sbM6g-1.mp3\"><\/audio><figcaption><strong>Song: Crush &#8211; <em>Digital Lover<\/em><\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I wake up&nbsp;<br>And stare at the ceiling,<br>Phone alarm beeping,<br>I feel tired.<br>Don\u2019t feel like doing anything.<br>I lay in bed,<br>In its warm embrace<br>As I scroll through TikToks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Swipe,<br>Laugh,<br>Comment,<br>Smile,<br>Double tap for a heart.<br>I forward them to my friends<br>Hoping they will laugh too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Earphones in,<br>Rain dripping,<br>A breeze blowing &#8211;<br>I become a latex balloon<br>Weightless with helium,<br>And only my chair anchors me to the ground<br>Stopping me from drifting away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Watching Netflix,<br>Red and black frays my string<br>And I become untethered&nbsp;&nbsp;<br>Floating up<br>And up<br>Into the stratosphere<br>And into space.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Dinner time with friends &#8211;<br>Laughter, Stories, Chicken, Music, Drinks.<br>What is she thinking?<br>What is he thinking?<br>What should I say?<br>We are all stars in space<br>Billions of us resting together,<br>But light years of blackness separate us.<br>When will my light reach others?<br>When will theirs reach me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I just want to go home<br>But in the shower<br>With each droplet that rains down on me,<br>I am driven deeper into the quicksand.<br>Maybe it\u2019s just the hormones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You should go meet up with your friends more,<br>You should go and make new friends,<br>There\u2019s a lot of people out there &#8211;<br>Find a hobby&nbsp;<br>Find your passion<br>Exercise<br>Work<br>Love yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I spend my time on that<br>And I feel good.<br>Tired,<br>But good &#8211;<br>A feeling that makes me smile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But sometimes a black hole opens,<br>No matter how much I put into it,<br>It doesn\u2019t fill.<br>I\u2019m sucked into it<br>And I vanish again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sometimes I hate it.<br>Sometimes I let it be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you feel lonely sometimes,<br>Just know that&nbsp;<br>I feel lonely sometimes too.<br>I don\u2019t know why either<br>But I guess we\u2019re in it together.<\/p>\n        <div class=\"booster-block booster-reactions-block\">\n            <div class=\"twp-reactions-icons\">\n                \n                <div class=\"twp-reacts-wrap\">\n                    <a react-data=\"be-react-1\" post-id=\"2801\" class=\"be-face-icons un-reacted\" href=\"javascript:void(0)\">\n                        <img decoding=\"async\" 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