{"id":1011,"date":"2019-03-21T21:03:55","date_gmt":"2019-03-21T11:03:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thejugular.org\/?p=1011"},"modified":"2019-03-21T21:03:55","modified_gmt":"2019-03-21T11:03:55","slug":"heart-to-heart-takes-on-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jugular.org.au\/index.php\/2019\/03\/21\/heart-to-heart-takes-on-love\/","title":{"rendered":"Heart To Heart Takes On: Love!"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\n \t<\/i> Read Time:<\/span>6 Minute, 14 Second <\/div>\n\n <\/div>\n

Welcome to the very first edition of The Jugular\u2019s brand new advice segment, \u201cHeart to Heart\u201d! This isn\u2019t just any run-of-the-mill advice column; here you\u2019ll find advice and answers that have been expertly tailored for the bustling lives of us meddies. <\/em>
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From your responses so far, it seems like love is in the air this season. Unfortunately, some of your lab results seem to be showing raised levels of IgE. But do not despair, for we\u2019ve got some top-notch words that\u2019ll work better than any antihistamine! <\/em>
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I can’t seem to find a boyfriend! Am I just cursed for life?? :((<\/strong>
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Well, unless you somehow pissed off a witch in the past, I\u2019d say your life is looking relatively curse-free. Jokes aside, it\u2019s really normal to feel like you\u2019re falling behind when it feels like almost everyone around you has found someone else. You may have been the classic \u201cI\u2019ll meet someone in uni\u201d kid back in high school. In my opinion, getting into a relationship isn\u2019t the hard part for most people. Finding a relationship that\u2019s worth working for is the real challenge. EVERYONE, especially you – deserves somebody to share your life with.
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That being said, you can\u2019t expect a put-together gentleman to stroll up on your doorstep with a bow on his head and bubble tea in his hand. You\u2019re gonna have to go outside, and talk to new people *shudder*. Quite fortunately for you, UNSW is an environment bursting with student life and there are practically limitless clubs and societies within and outside of medicine. Try out one that interests you! It\u2019s honestly really refreshing to explore life outside of the classroom, and there\u2019s so much to gain from that. At the very least, you\u2019ll walk away with meaningful hobbies and\/or new friends (and those are pretty good too!)
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Also, this might feel like a slap in the face but sometimes the problem CAN be you. Give yourself an honest introspection about how you treat everyone around you. Do you exude warmth and kindness? Is it possible you make others feel neglected, uncomfortable or upset without meaning to? If you can\u2019t seem to be honest with yourself (because we all have fragile egos to protect), often a close friend can tell you their perspective on the impressions you leave on people. But don\u2019t feel discouraged if you do realise some major issues that you didn\u2019t know you had; acknowledging that you HAVE flaws that you want to change is already half the job done, the rest is about actually working towards becoming the best version of yourself.
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Lastly, relationships are great but there\u2019s no point in getting so hung up about being single that you forget to live for yourself too. In fact, you can barely call that living. Take the time to do the things you want! Meet new people, travel, read, learn, grow. Focus on you and YOUR personal growth. Often, that special someone will walk into your life when you\u2019re least expecting it (and if they don\u2019t, there\u2019s always Tinder!).
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In a friends with benefits relationship but I\u2019ve accidentally caught some feelings – send help!<\/strong>
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It seems like you\u2019ve reached a crossroads in this relationship! This calls for an incoming introspection time: really dig deep within yourself and find out what you really want (gonna have to get real intimate with yourself and no, I don\u2019t mean it like that). If you still feel quite lost, reaching out to someone that you trust and sharing what you\u2019re going through (even if it is embarrassing) might be a good idea. Even if they don\u2019t necessarily offer any advice of significance, holding yourself accountable and explaining your situation to someone who is uninvolved will allow you to reflect on what\u2019s going on, and gain some new insights in the process. It\u2019s perfectly normal if this takes a while; a right decision is better than a quick one.
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Be gentle with yourself and don\u2019t hide the way you truly feel. However, you should dissect the nature of those feelings before acting upon them. What attracts you about that person? Is it their mind and\/or their body? Does he\/she make you happy and fulfilled? Now, it\u2019s time to decide. If you want something more than just friends with benefits, then you\u2019re gonna have to communicate this to the person. And if not, it might be best to take a break from things until you\u2019re back in the right frame of mind. Obviously, neither of these things are very easy to do, but relationships never really are. Perhaps the most important thing to keep in mind is that once you know what path to take, don\u2019t waste too much time just standing around. Carpe diem!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\ufeffI’m dating someone but I’m starting to like this other guy. What to do?<\/strong>
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First off, please don\u2019t blame yourself for catching feelings; that\u2019s completely out of your control. What you can control is how you go about addressing the situation. Like most problems in life, the only way to start is by *surprise surprise* figuring out what you want. Really break down how you would feel about all possible outcomes and try to grasp what truly matters to you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re still invested in your current partner, think about what might be causing these other confusing feelings. Do you feel distant\/alienated from your partner? Are you no longer compatible? Is your relationship salvageable, and if so, how can you bring the spark back? If you cannot let go of your feelings for this other guy, you have to let your partner know. Waiting will only make matters worse because the truth will sneakily start to eat you away. Explain that you have started developing feelings for someone else, but you\u2019re not willing to throw away your relationship for that. Figure out how to approach the issue as a couple. And remember, healthy relationships are built on honesty and trust.
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On the other hand, if you\u2019re not happy and your relationship is beyond repair, then you need to end things as soon as possible and go get yourself the man you feel you deserve! There\u2019s never really a good time for break-ups. In general, people are pretty good at picking up when things aren\u2019t quite right. You may no longer be interested in him\/her as a partner, but as any decent person, you should do the right thing (don\u2019t cop out, you know exactly what I mean). If you can walk out of it with a clear conscience, then I think you\u2019ve done the best you can. I know it\u2019s daunting to just drop everything you\u2019re familiar with and go for something that may or may not work out but it\u2019s a risk worth taking for your own happiness! You\u2019d still be better off either way! If love wasn\u2019t about taking chances, then how would we ever possibly know what could have been?
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That\u2019s all for now, folks! BUT if you have any questions, queries or concerns and you want a little outside opinion, you are more than welcome to ask us anytime at <\/em>https:\/\/docs.google.com\/…\/1FAIpQLSdb-qXhwWL…\/viewform<\/a>
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\n \n
\n \n \"Happy\"\n <\/a>\n
\n Happy <\/div>\n
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\n Sad <\/div>\n
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\n Excited <\/div>\n
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Surprise<\/div>\n
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It seems like love is in the air this season. Unfortunately, some of your lab results seem to be showing raised levels of IgE. But do not despair, for we\u2019ve got some top-notch words that\u2019ll work better than any antihistamine! <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1012,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,8],"tags":[19],"class_list":["post-1011","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-heart-to-heart","category-opinion","tag-featured"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jugular.org.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1011","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jugular.org.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jugular.org.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jugular.org.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jugular.org.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1011"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jugular.org.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1011\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jugular.org.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1012"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jugular.org.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1011"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jugular.org.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1011"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jugular.org.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1011"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}